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Songs From Schaefer's Outhouse

by The Roadhouse Clams

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1.
Drop the Hammer (& Raise Some Hell) 03:44
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Well, I believe my boss has finally lost his mind He took a 12 day job and told em we'd finish in 5 And if that ain't enough of a laughing crime I know he ain't gonna put in no overtime Best get comfy, boys we're gonna be here awhile When I finally got home landlady says where you been? Out drinking, chasin girls, and galavantin? Well I'm too tired to hear her tell me again how I'm a ne'er do well Only motivated by dirty thoughts and sin Change my shirt, out the door I go It's Friday night and time to roll down to Ruby's Roadhouse, like a damn gazelle Grab a few dollars at the ATM Redline the RPM Gonna drop the hammer and raise some hell All you fine folks had best get out my way I ain't stoppin for nothin from home to the highway Cos I got a message from my litle Marie, she's there at the roadhouse waiting for me and Lord knows, I'm sure she's lookin fine Change my shirt, out the door I go It's Friday night and time to roll down to Ruby's Roadhouse, like a damn Chevelle Grab a few dollars at the ATM Redline the RPM Gonna drop the hammer and raise some hell All you fine folks had bet get out my way I ain't stopping til tjhe sun comes up Monday End of the work week time for fun, pedal to the metal gonna get me some Let's paint this town 50 shades of gray Change my shirt, out the door I go It's Friday night and time to roll down to Ruby's Roadhouse, like I'm jet propelled Grab a few dollars at the ATM Redline the RPM Gonna drop the hammer and raise some hell
2.
Shore:30 04:42
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I get so lonely in the winter time Depriving this fine body of warm sunshine Drink my whiskey till I just don't care That the girls are all bundled up like polar bears Til it hits that time I get stir crazy in early spring Songbirds say it's still too cold to sing My boat ain’t turned a screw since Fall Lord help me, I'm starting to climb the walls Till it hits that time When the big sun hits ya melts the tar Hear the V8 rumble of the hot rod cars Rollin downy ocean to cruise OC Get your big fat jimmies down at joes BK cutting loose on the radio Ain't no doubt I'm right where I wanna be Don't need a clock to know it's Shore thirty The Red Eye’s girls all love to show their tans I check em out from be-hind my ray bans Fire up the Skeeter man, let's go The Rock are runnin near the mouth of the Nanticoke Must be just about that time Just a 9 iron swing from the Chesapeake there's a 40 boat party on fairlee creek Raftin up and rocking the night away Meet me down at Lowe’s Wharf, it ain’t too far ol Bird Dog’s playin at the tiki bar Grab a margarita, & make a new friend or 3 At the tone the time will be Shore 30 Life is so lovely in the summertime Sunshine on my shoulders feels so fine Fire up the Chevy man, let’s go Steam pull tonight at Tuckahoe Yeah, they're racing crabs down crisfield way Farm girls gettin freaky in the barnyard hay 50’s backed up all the way to Kentucky Listen up y’all, I been told There’s a big ol party down Pea Liquor Road Let’s grab the boys and then we’ll go and see My oh my, it must be Shore 30
3.
Chasing Earnhardt 03:52
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I don’t score much but I play good defense I’m the role player in the starting five I play the best friend of the leading actor Last one not to make it out alive I’m pretty fly but I don’t go deep I’m the tight end on a third down play I’m the sidekick who takes on heavy fire For the hero who saves the day CHORUS I’m tired of chasing Earnhardt I hate not leading the race I’m tired of chasing Earnhardt I’m sick of being second place I’m the pinch runner with the bases loaded Or the pinch hitter with the sacrifice fly I’m Ed McMahon on Johnny’s couch Or the Stooge getting hit with a pie I’m the middle man in the relay Or the caddy with Tiger’s bag I’m the anonymous guy in the tower Just waving the checkered flag CHORUS I can keep up with Richard Petty I can slow Jeff Gordon down to a crawl But when I mess with the Intimidator He runs me into the wall I’m the Abbott to your Costello I’m Q to your Roger Moore I’m Trapper John to your Hawkeye Pierce Or Pete Best in your Fab Four I’m Tonto to your Lone Ranger I’m Desi to your Lucille Ball Earl Scruggs to your Lester Flatt Or John Oates to your Daryl Hall
4.
Poor Man in Richland 04:59
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Lay down last night, with a geared up mind Glowing in the darkness, no sleep could I find for hours Up with the alarm, on the big road again Pushing to make Mobile by 6pm Sing my songs with a smile I was standing on a corner when you found me, a poor man in Richland Didn't take me long to realize I'd been saved Lay down last night, in a bed all mine Little motel by the water on the Gulf beach side All alone, thoughts of you fill the room Up with the alarm, back in the van I-10 east to Jacksonville to do it again Sing my songs for awhile I was standing on a corner when you found me, a poor man in Richland Didn't take me long to realize I'd been made I drop my gear by the door and I'm in your embrace I vow to never again leave this place This is just too right But when I tell you I'm gonna hang up my guitar Stop all my running and maybe open a bar You laugh, cos you know I was standing on a corner when you found me, a poor man in Richland Didn't take me long to realize I'd arrived I was standing on a corner when you found me, a poor man in Richland Didn't take me long to ask you to be my wife
5.
Star Spangled Dogs 05:08
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Well we've always fought for freedom The US hears the bell Standing for the little guys Who can't defend themselves Righting the wrongs of tyranny We have stepped hard into hell Wearing the mud and chewing the dirt Of foreign lands you can't even spell From Khe Sahn to Bellau Wood Heartbreak Ridge to the Coral Sea Our sons and daughters have held the line In the name of liberty So go ahead and make your threats Beat your chest and scream war cries The last thing that you're gonna see Is the fire in our eyes From the rockin shores of the Chesapeake To San Francisco's setting son There's 3,000 miles of hard resolve Stars & Stripes will never run Sure, we may have our differences But we come together when times get hard One big old patchwork family One nation under God We're a country of stray dogs and castaways Ain't no purebred pedigrees But that mutt-pack looks just fine I'd say Running wild, in the land of the free Long Live the Star Spangled Dogs
6.
Topless 04:31
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Daisy was panting hot and heavy Found a ‘62 ragtop Chevy She called the number in the newspaper ad The body was in great condition And the engine purred just like a kitten Cool enough to turn a good girl bad CHORUS She’s gonna ride around topless Cruising around with the wind in her hair She’s gonna ride around topless Sunday driving in the open air Daisy was waiting for a hot sunny day When she could jump in her Chevrolet And drive around with her car top down She would drive out by the neon lights And drive on by the construction sites And get wolf whistles all around town CHORUS She’s gonna ride around topless Cruising around with the wind in her hair She’s gonna ride around topless Cruising around without a care After a few shot of whiskey Daisy started getting a little frisky And she decided to simply show it all Caused a traffic jam while she was pumping gas And distracting old men who were trying to pass Causing a 10 car pileup out by the mall CHORUS She was riding around topless Riding around completely bare She was riding around topless Cruising around without a care She was riding around topless Cruising around completely bare She was riding around topless Showing off a very nice pair
7.
Corner Of It's Over & Goodbye 04:54
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8.
Southern Fried Sushi 02:53
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Stay away I'm the hoi polloi I ain’t gonna be your rebound boy not impressed with your wardrobe honey not impressed with your Daddy’s money don’t care bout your sorority scene or if you’re the Homecoming Queen you’re as shallow as the kiddie pool And your age is bigger than your IQ CHORUS don’t need your red carpet star Your champagne and your caviar I want a girl who likes Belushi movies And likes to dine on Southern Fried Sushi Stay away Miss Sophisticated ‘Cause you’re much too complicated posin like a supermodel But your blonde comes out of a bottle make Madonna look like the Virgin Mary And Lady Gaga like the Tooth Fairy You don’t suck but you love to bite And like a Wawa store, you’re open all night Gimme a girl who can spell pretentious But doesn’t know how to act that way So let her be the girl next door Who’s always ready to come out and play Hey baby let's roll in the hay Stay away you heartbreaker ain’t gonna be my homemaker When I try to get you in the sack You’ll just dump me for the quarterback You're just the dangerous type Ain't worth all the hype So go back to your Ivy League school find some other guy to play your fool don’t need your red carpet star Your champagne and your caviar I want a girl with a nice round tushy who likes to dine on Southern Fried Sushi
9.
Sippin On a Sunset 04:56
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Well, I aimed it south and rolled til I hit sand Past the haters and the gators and tomaters all trapped inland I-75, passed the left lane blockers, truck was starting to smell like my old gym locker Rolled up, shut down, and caught the sound of a reggae band They were playing this little place right there on the beach Where people write on dollar bills and stick em up outta reach Sure it’s warm, but that’s just fine, the world feels just right in the summertime Lookin good too, hello bikini-clad Georgia peach CHORUS I was sippin on a sunset Drinking down a daydream Weave a little wind down Staring at the jet stream Toe a little sea foam Tilting back a salt rim Bathing in the warm breeze Underneath my hat brim/showing off my sun grin again Well I got to thinking that maybe I should head back home Back north thru the humpers and thumpers to the land of the snow (hell no!) Yeah, it’s the responsible thing to do, but then I took another look at that Corona view Let’s roll another one boys, there’s always tomorrow CHORUS
10.
Hard Road Home 05:54
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Jill was so gone for goodness Lost in the haze of three straight days of caine Into the street with the last of the Bacardi And the clouds came and spilled the rain Her feet were pale and muddy But they all said she had her mother's eye's Leaning hard, against the early morning The heavens washed away ten years of tattered lies Lord Knows it's getting better now Russ was all sentimental Such a shame Olivia didn't care Every day he tried his damndest To prove his love for the maiden fair He gave, all hers for the taking She loved him and his AMEX and held on tight But one day Liv found a BBD and she bolted And Russell came home to an untainted house that night Lord Knows it's getting better now I fight hard for all that's holy Even when the day does dare me to retreat Sometimes the dawn can be foreboding Like one wrong step would spell defeat But I know I've got to keep on rolling Push on ahead, ride the wind, and smile Cos we ain't measured by how easily we get there But on our willingness to go another mile Lord Knows it's getting better now

about

Our loving tribute to the late MD Gov William Donald Schaefer is ten tracks of Eastern Shore attitude, loaded with tales of stock cars, deep fried sushi, semi-naked women, and plenty of alcohol.

credits

released October 18, 2016

Recorded @ Sucker Punch Recording Co, Bethesda, MD
Engineered & Produced by Mark Williams (OAR, Fountains of Wayne)
Mastered by Jeff Dykhouse @ Lily Pond Sound, Murieta, CA

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The Roadhouse Clams Salisbury, Maryland

Hailing from the saltwater cornfields of Maryland's Eastern Shore, the Roadhouse Clams deliver scrappy Southern Soul with a combination of Biker Joint rebellion and carefree Beach Bar sans souci. This is redneck rock & roll, pure & unfiltered, steeped in Juke Joint Blues, Old School Country, and only the finest Classic Rock traditions ... more

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